I was outside talking with my trainer when a car drove by and floored the gas, emitting an incredibly loud noise from the muffler. We had to pause our conversation until the car was far enough away.
“I don’t understand that!” she said, nodding in the direction of the car.
“It’s a guy thing!” I replied.
She went on to tell me a story about a friend of hers who had previously run a 50 -mile race. Heather, my coach, was scheduled to attempt the same thing in the next few days. She talked to him and asked for any last minute tips. He told that every time she was tempted to quit, she should just think about how humiliating it would be to have to tell all of her friends that she failed.
She laughed and said, “I don’t get it! When I do something, I give it my best, and that’s all I can do. It never crosses my mind to think about what my friends are going to say or how they will react to my not finishing. I guess it’s a guy thing!
I am reminded of the movie “It’s a Guy Thing” that came out in 2003. The phrase is used to describe immature, insensitive, or irresponsible behavior. The implication is that the behavior should be overlooked because … “it’s a guy thing.”
At what point in life do “guys” become “men?”
Really, what’s the difference between a guy and a man? It isn’t about age; it’s about attitude. Guys are boys in men’s bodies, but they are men who lack the sense of responsibility and sensitivity that are associated with adulthood. Guys might be fun to be around, but when facing life’s challenges, it takes a man to rise to the occasion.
For guys, life is about conquest and braggadocio. Life is about loud mufflers, speed, cars, appearance, cute girls – yes, girls! No guy wants to be with a real woman, because she will have expectations of maturity that he isn’t ready or willing to deal with.
According to the hero’s journey, the real marks of men – as opposed to guys – is the awareness of their mortality and their responsibility to the social structures that gave birth to them and supported them in life. Males – and females – who choose a heroic journey have a deep sense of commitment to making the world a better place, not just for themselves and their families, but for the larger community.
So, here’s my invitation to all males, whether you consider yourself to be a guy or a man, embark on the heroic journey. Every story needs a hero, and I want you to be the hero to your family, to your community. Be aware of your mortality, and be committed to making a difference for good.
Move into your Magnificence and, as Henry David Thoreau once said, “Behave so the aroma of your actions may enhance the general sweetness of the atmosphere.”
The extent to which you accept my invitation is the extent to which you’ll be able to say, “I feel good about being me!” … and that’s a promise.
P.S. If you’d like to be a part of my Sunday night’s men’s group based on the Hero’s Journey, reach out and let’s see if we’re a good match. Each week we talk about a different aspect of the journey, and we commit to at least one bold action, and we hold each other accountable. Message me; email me; text me; be in touch!
