When I was in seminary, I was the Youth Minister for a church a couple of hours away from the campus. One of the couples in the congregation provided housing and meals for me each weekend. John was a machinist for R.J. Reynolds and Rachel was an inspector at the Hanes underwear factory. They were the quintessential blue-collar couple.
On one occasion, the District Superintendent and the Bishop were coming to our church. Rachel offered to host the pastor, his family, and the guests for lunch at after the Sunday service. I was surprised when I saw her on Saturday preparing the house for these dignitaries. She set up tables in the unfinished basement, got oil cloth table coverings and put out paper plates, cups and plastic utensils. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t using her china and silver – which I knew she had!
When I asked her about it, she said these were interesting people and she was less concerned about impressing them than she was about having time to have conversation with them. She told me that if she got out all “the good stuff,” she’d be spending time in the kitchen washing dishes and cleaning up when what she really wanted was to time to visit.
It made me question my values … I grew up being taught that when “important” people come to visit, you put out your best towels, you empty your waste baskets, you get out your best dishes … and get some fresh flowers to decorate. Oh yes, and you put on your best clothes.
Rachel realized that she wanted to enjoy her guests, and doing all that decorating and fancy stuff wouldn’t be fun … it would take away her enjoyment … and it would ultimately deny her an opportunity to create much more than a superficial relationship … one based on how things look.
How freeing … it never crossed her mind what her “honored guests” would think … and they were her honored guests. She was honoring them by wanting to connect with them … not by the traditional ways of getting out the best of everything and making things look a certain way.
How about you … when you know you are going to have time with people who have social status, what is your goal? To impress them with how nice you can make yourself look and act … or to get to know them on a personal level, to develop connections?
Rachel showed me that – for her – life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest … not to impress people to the fullest. Sometimes, it is fun to get out all the fancy stuff … but other times we do it out of a sense of obligation instead of joy.
Here’s my invitation for you … the next time you have an opportunity to be around someone whose social status might be above yours … decide to enjoy their company instead of worrying about impressing them. Come from you Inner Magnificence, and forget about your outer presentation.
The extent to which you do is the extent to which you’ll be able to say, “I feel good about being me!” … and that’s a promise!
Photo Image by Jonatan Svensson Glad
